It seems in our society people tend to let everything and everyone steal their dreams. They watch the news and see how bad things are all around them. They listen to family members and “friends”. They listen to all the people who say, “That is not realistic.” or “You can’t do that.”
And it sometimes stops them dead in their tracks.
In reality, if we change our mindset, almost anything is possible. We create our own reality.
I’m not saying changing your mindset will lead to you accomplishing whatever you want to accomplish. I don’t agree with that thinking at all. If I wanted to be a rock star and I was in my sixties and unable to play an instrument or sing, chances are slim to none that I could be successful at that. It is not realistic.
But I do have a few realistic aspirations. The reason I know they are realistic is that I have a plan in place to make all of these things my reality. It’s almost like brainwashing, but in a good way.
I also don’t agree with the “positive thinking” mindset. And here’s why. I think Tony Robbins gave this analogy of positive thinking. If you have weeds in your garden and sit around thinking…there are no weeds in my garden…there are no weeds in my garden, you will still have weeds in your garden. The weeds will be there until you go outside, take action and remove the weeds.
So understand this is not about truly unrealistic dreams or positive thinking. It’s about a mindset shift that takes place over time that leads to taking action and creating a plan to pursue your dream and accomplish your goals.
Your mindset affects your behavior, your attitude, your performance, the action you take and the results you get. It impacts the amount of success you experience in your business and in your life.
Here are a few ideas to help you develop a better mindset:
1. Gratitude
Going to bed at night and waking up every morning with a sense of gratitude will take you a long way toward becoming more successful. It’s so easy to get caught up in the events of the day and forget all the things in our lives that we have to be thankful for. It takes a conscious effort to develop this strong sense of gratitude. Take a few minutes and just make a list of all the things in your life that are right. What do you have to be thankful for? You will be surprised at how long this list will be.
2. Don’t focus on the money you make. Focus on the value you deliver.
This is a powerful statement. Here is the bottom line…we are in business to make money…period! But in order to get the money, we have to deliver value. So if your main goal is to make sure your clients are getting value when they pay you for your product or service, then the money will follow. You will have happier clients and a much better business if you ensure your clients are getting a little more than what they actually paid for.
3. Don’t let others rent space in your head.
This is an actual book title that I ran across while browsing the bookshelves of my local bookstore. The title says it all. So many times we let people, sometimes people we don’t even know, rent space in our heads. Those voices that keep running over and over telling us we are not good enough, slim enough, young enough, rich enough, etc. to achieve success. Get rid of this garbage as soon as possible. It doesn’t benefit you or anyone else. Change self defeating thoughts, or they will bury you and your business.
4. Don’t let others define who you are.
Find your own path. There are so many books written on marketing, sales, business, and personal development. Learn everything you can, but do what feels right for you. Be true to yourself. Build the business you want to build, not what someone else says you should build. Learn from others, take what you can use, and let the rest go. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for you. This will be much easier if you have a clear picture of what success looks like for you and you have clarified your why.
5. Have an attitude of abundance rather than an attitude of scarcity.
There is sometimes a subtle difference between having an attitude of abundance and a scarcity attitude. Some people will say things like “I can’t afford that.” While others will say “How can I afford it?” See the subtle difference. I think I read this many years ago in Robert Kiyosaki’s book Rich Dad, Poor Dad. One is victim thinking and the other is looking for a way to get what they want. They are solution driven by asking the “How can I afford it?”
Being a copywriter, I understand words matter, but the words you tell yourself matter more than anything else. Think of other ways you are saying things that may be scarcity thinking and change them to statements of abundance.
6. Rid yourself of limiting beliefs.
This is directly related to self-doubt and lack of confidence. Limiting beliefs will sabotage your business. You must have an unwavering belief in your skills and abilities. This must come from the inside with no outside influences. First identify the source of your limiting beliefs. Let go of expectations of support from friends and family as they sometimes experience change in your life as a threat.
We live in a society that wants to homogenize everything. If you have a lot more money than someone, then they may feel uncomfortable with that. If you have a lot less money than they do, they may also feel uncomfortable. People generally feel most comfortable around the familiar and around people who are most like them. It is ultimately up to you to develop your belief system,.
7. Stay out of the perfectionist trap.
Most people who have a perfectionist attitude have a lot of fear. Fear of not being accepted, fear of failure, and the list goes on. It’s very difficult to make progress in your business if you are in the perfectionist trap. You will spend all your time making sure everything is perfect. Tasks that should take days will drag on for weeks or months. Don’t let the perfectionist trap stifle your business growth. A friend of mine has this phrase posted on his wall – Done is better than perfect.
8. Set boundaries.
What will you no longer tolerate in your life? Are there people in your life that are constantly criticizing your decisions but not offering any solutions? Get rid of them. (For the record, I do not literally mean get rid of them, but do stay away from them.) Are there people who do not contribute anything to your life but only take from it? Get rid of them. Don’t feel guilty for protecting yourself from negative people with bad attitudes. And that includes family members.
Do not tolerate anything in your life that will hold you back or slow your progress in achieving your goals. If someone is not contributing, they are hindering. But remember their contribution may be something as simple as lending an ear when you need someone to talk to.
And don’t forget your obligation to contribute. Are you holding someone back with the words you say or your actions towards them? The concept of setting boundaries goes both ways.
9. Visualization.
I don’t mean sit around daydreaming all day. Nobody achieves great things without first visualizing the thing they want to achieve. Get in the habit of visualizing what your life will look like when you achieve success in your business. What does success mean specifically for you? Describe your ideal day in detail. What do you do when you get up in the morning? How do you spend your day? Create an hour by hour map of your ideal day. Do this visualization exercise and you will create your own reality.
10. Create a personal mission statement.
Large corporations have mission statements. You should have a mission statement for yourself and for your business. There is nothing better than having your values, dreams, and desires in writing so you can view them periodically to make sure you are living the life you want to be living. Here are a few tips for creating your personal mission statement – identify your goals, your values, your skills, your strengths and the contributions you want to make to the world. This will help you get more clarity and focus in your life.
Well, that’s my take on developing a better mindset. Hope it helps.
All the best,
Mike Coleman